Update #3 and Instructions for Transfer

I just spoke to the embryologist, whom I will affectionately call "Deidra".  It is, after all, her name.

At a little less than 72 hours out from fertilization, we have:

Three 10-cell
Two 8-cell
Three 7-cell (one of those showing no change from yesterday)
One 6-cell
One polynucleated (too much DNA) - discarded.

Five of them are looking "good".  Four of them are showing 15% or more fragmentation and are "not as good".

*sigh*  I knew that yesterday's high was bound to be stifled a little. Each day, as Deidra said, you are expected to see a drop off. It's the natural progression of things.  As long as we have some good quality blasts for transfer on Saturday, there is nothing to be disappointed in.  Yet, *sigh*.  I just want it to work this time. 

We are to come in at 8:45 on Saturday and transfer is scheduled for 9:00.  I won't be getting any updates tomorrow as they leave the embabies alone on day 4 and won't look at them again until the morning of transfer.

We spoke briefly about the possibility of transferring three.  She said that having a failed IVF cycle before puts us as candidates, but it's a double-edge sword.  If we have two beautiful blasts on Saturday, it will be a hard sell to get Dr. Awesome RE to transfer three.  If they are just average, he would probably be agreeable. That's what we don't want, though, is "average" blasts. We want beautiful.

I hope it's only two, then.

I will update here after transfer.  Please say a little prayer.  <3

Day Two Embryo Update

I'm so excited! I'm just going to jump right in!

We have:

One 8-cell.
One 7-cell
One 6-cell
Seven 4-cell

At this point, they want to see them around 4 cells. She explained to me that an embryo only has so much energy and if it uses up a lot of it in the beginning, it will, unfortunately, "peter out" when it comes time to turn into a blast.  She said that, at this point, the 4-celled ones are our front runners, showing very little fragmentation.   Also, one of the 4-celled ones is "just beautiful" (in her words)!! Yay!!

The best part is that she commented that everything looks so much better compared to last cycle. Be it the diet changes, the exercise, the wheatgrass shots, or whatever, something is definitely different this time.  In a good way, too!

Before we hung up, I asked her to go sing the babies a lullaby and that I couldn't wait to hear from her tomorrow. Will update here when I get that call.

<3

Fertilization Report

The phone call finally came in at about 11:30 this morning.  Here's the skinny:

14 eggs retrieved (I guess that 15th one was just a myth!)

14 mature.

14 ICSIed.

7 fertilized normally.

4 are being watched but have yet to show signs of fertilization.

1 is being watched because it appears to be fused (?)

2 showed signs of abnormalities and were discarded.

Will know more tomorrow!

The Retrieval

So, I was negligent in updating my blog after Friday's ultrasound and E2.  We were pretty sure we were going to go for retrieval yesterday (Sunday). It all hinged on my progesterone level.  If it was elevated above 1.5, he was going to retrieve on Sunday. If not, he wanted to stim me one more day in hopes of getting better quality eggs at retrieval. My progesterone was only 1.23.  So, we stimmed Friday, triggered Saturday and did retrieval today.

My retrieval went well. I am a little sorer than I was last time, but as far as nerves are concerned, there were none. DH and I both felt more at ease this time around. No surprises. As the record comes to a screeching halt....

We got 14 eggs!! After being told all week that I had only nine, we got FOURTEEN!! Woo hoo, right?? Wrong! Read on...

I called my fertility clinic this afternoon to get my final E2 from Saturday's bloodwork.  The nurse I spoke to said that as of Saturday, before trigger, my E2 was 3125. That is 1000 more than what my estrogen was at the same time last cycle.  I got so excited telling her that with one less egg, my estrogen was so much higher.  She then informed me that we actually had 15!!  They "found" one more after we left.  How is that even possible?!

I don't know! But we have babies down the road and I can't wait to get the report tomorrow on how they are doing!! <3

U/s and E2 - Take Two!!

This morning's wanding was bright and early at 8:15.  I had seven follicles in my right ovary, ranging from 13.7 to 19.7.  My left only had two this time.  Both around 14.  I was disappointed, but they just called with my E2 and we are at 1456!! This time last cycle, I had more eggs (about 12, but my estrogen was only 915). It would seem that I have some better quality eggs this time around.

Thank you wheatgrass shots!

Next u/s and E2 is at 9:45 in the morning. It looks like I will trigger tomorrow night and ER will be Sunday!!

Holy smokes.

U/S and E2 -Take One!

Yesterday I had my first "follie check" and blood draw for estrogen level.  During my wanding, Dr. Awesome RE and I talked football.  I think that maybe a few years ago, I would feel it weird to talk football while being wanded by a middle-aged male, but I digress.  Things have changed, apparently.

During my wanding, I was told that I'm responding "well" and "quickly".  I had seven follicles in my right ovary measuring 9.8 to 12.4.  My left one came in at a disappointing three follicles, 7.0 to 11.2.  My lining was right on track at 6.7.  My E2 was over 600.  I was told to do only half a dose of my Menopur last night and resume the normal dose tonight.  During IVF #1, my first E2 was 370. I am responding extremely fast, in my opinion. ER is looking more like Sunday than Monday. 

Next u/s and E2 tomorrow morning. I'm hoping to see a little more action in my left ovary, but as DH said, quality over quantity.

I heart him.

A Rude Awakening

I had kind of a rude awakening this morning and I wanted to address it on here and put it out in the open. I woke up to a comment on my blog that was pretty rude and hurtful. It was a post I wrote four months ago when I was three weeks out from my miscarriage. It was a post that was full of emotion - anger, frustration and a sadness that I had never felt before. I use this blog to sort through these emotions and it is probably one of the few posts I have ever written that was 100% honest, despite the fact that what I said wasn't typical of me, which I clearly addressed in a disclaimer at the beginning of the post.

Basically, I was angry after reading another blog where a woman did her second IVF and was pregnant with her second baby. 2 IVFs = 2 babies for her. The whole point of me being upset was this: When you have to resort to IVF to get pregnant, it should work, guaranteed. Plain and simple. I did everything right and followed orders and walked away with nothing. I was hurting.

The comment, which I deleted, called me selfish and greedy for wanting more children after having two naturally and that I had no right to hate on anyone who does IVF and has success in it. I was encouraged to appreciate the children that I have and stop obsessing over having more.

I know that someone on TWW wrote that comment. (1) Nobody has ever stumbled across my blog on the internet and (2) the link to this blog is right at the bottom of every post I make on there. The nasty-grammer also admitted to having tried IVF several times without success.

So, I wanted to put it out there for whoever said this that the decision DH and I made to have more than two children is our decision and our business. There are more types of infertility than primary infertility. It is completely narrow-minded to think that just because we were given two children naturally and struggle to conceive our third, that we do not appreciate the ones that we have. Let me ask this: If we had to do ART to have our sons and were doing treatments again, would you think us greedy? Or is just because we were formally fertile that we are selfish??

I hate even bringing this up here and I apologize to you wonderful ladies who support me for having to read it, but I felt the need to defend myself especially when someone attacked what kind of mother I am to my boys.

Do any of us want to be in this position?? Don't we all want each IVF to result in a child and mean the end of the emotional roller coaster, the injections, the procedures, the appointments, the sleepless nights, the headaches, the fatigue, the night sweats, the arguing with our husbands, and the crying ourselves to sleep?!?!?

I hope that, like the other people who read that post and supported me when I was at my lowest, all who read this would understand and not sit in judgment of me and the words that I wrote when I was still reeling from losing my baby.

Suppressed

Today was my suppression check. Dr. Awesome RE was awesome as usual.  My ovaries are nice and quiet. My left one is currently housing 12 follicles. My right is housing 10.  All my levels are good and low.  I start Follistim and Menopur on Saturday. Stay the course with my Lupron.  First follie check will be Tuesday at 8:30.  Then another one on Thursday. Then again on Saturday.  ER is looking like Monday the 26th. 


Wow. This is really happening again.

And quick.

Of Not Blogging, Traveling, and IVF #2

I am not dead.

I've been more than neglectful of my blogging. And I have a secret. I haven't missed it.

I know that must sound terrible.  This blog and your support meant the world to me during IVF #1.  When everything went to hell, it hurt to keep coming back to this place. This place where I had hope. This place where my dreams were crushed. This place that changed for me after April 25th.

So, I attempted to move blogs and start fresh. But it wasn't enough. I needed a break. I left Oklahoma. I went to the mountains of West Virginia. I took a trip to Hawaii. I spent time with my friends and my family. I took a trip to San Diego. And here I am...

Four days into Lupron shots for IVF #2.  I can't believe I am here again. I should be 26 weeks pregnant.  But I am not. I'm back here. But am I really back?

I don't know how to answer that...

We'll see.