22 Weeks and A Cold

Today, I am 22 weeks pregnant.  I also have a cold. Under normal circumstances, I would keep myself on a steady regimine of Day/Ny.quil, but with little ones in ute, I'm stuck taking tylenol and sucking on cough drops.  Oh. Well.  This will pass.

So, I thought I would do a little pregnancy update (Sans pic, though. I'm not really feeling close-up ready right now.)  Feel free to not read this "all things babies" post.

How far along:  22 weeks! 14 days to viability!

How big are babies:  "The size of small dolls."  This is pretty vague, if you ask me. Up until this point, they were always compared to fruit.  Last week, they were "The size of large bananas."  I know how big large bananas are.  Words like small and large when it comes to dolls and toy trucks and whatnot, though, can be rather subjective, if you know what I mean. At my MFM specialist appt on Thursday, they were each over 8 inches long and weighed over a pound each.  I'm just going to imagine two really, really, really fat Ken dolls rolling around in there.

Weight gain: 17 pounds.

Sex: Nope! Need to get Baby A's placenta moving a little further away from my cervix in order to enjoy some hanky panky.

Cravings:  Nothing. I'm back to just grazing here and there and not really trying to think about food all that much.  Most things give me heartburn, so I'm sticking to the small, small meals 5-6 times a day.  And I don't really care what it is, either.  Small salad, apple, piece of cheese, small bowl of soup, piece of chicken, pork chop - I don't really mind at all. Just keeping myself fed and hydrated is the name of the game. I thought I would enjoy food more in pregnancy, but *sigh* not so much.

Maternity clothes: Yes. All maternity all the time since about 10 weeks along.

Sexes: Baby boys!  Yay for little guys!

Sleep: Pretty good! Getting up a lot to pee at night, but sleeping well in between.  No complaints there.

Looking forward to: 2/26!! Viability!!

Well.....

NT Scan Perfection, A Gender, A Name and A Belly Pic

We had our NT scan on Thursday and at 13w4d, I was on the cusp of being too far along to perform the ultrasound and get accurate measurements.  I was excited to get to see the babes again and even more excited to get an abdominal ultrasound as opposed to a wanding.

The tech who performed the ultrasound took her time with measuring everything and DH and I were just so excited to see the babies looking so much like babies!  They were moving much more fluidly than last time and one was even rubbing their little face with their hands.  Eeek, I can't wait to be the one rubbing those little cheeks and kissing them!  As a tech, she wouldn't say anything about gender, which was disappointing and I made a mental note to ask the doctor if he would. I caught a glimpse of each NT measurement and both were well under the 3mm mark (1.8 and 2.1, I believe.)  We waited a bit for the doctor to come in and he went about going over all the tech's measurements albeit a little more quickly than the tech.  He explained the risks of a multiple pregnancy, told me I had my age and physical fitness on my side for carrying these babies to term, my cervix was 4.72 cm, which was great and overall just made me feel very capable of this pregnancy, which was appreciated.  I asked him if he could tell what sex the babies were and he said he wouldn't guess unless he got a good look. Baby A wasn't cooperating at all, but Baby B wasn't shy and looks like a ___!  Overall, it was a great appointment and I am thankful that the babes are growing on track and looking good with no markers for any issues thus far.  Here's some pics of the babes from the scan:

Baby A (the shy one):

 Baby B (not the shy one):

We have already decided on a name for Baby B and we will be sharing its sex and name as soon as we find out what sex Baby A is.  Our gender ultrasound is on January 5!  Stay tuned!

And last, but not least, a belly pic, me and the littles at 13w6d:

Safe Holidays to all - we are leaving for WV tomorrow and will return on 1/2.  I may try to do a post  from home, but it's going to be crazy busy, so no promises. :)

12 Weeks

I thought I would do a pregnancy post update. You know, how big is baby?  How big is uterus? How big is Mommy's butt?  So, if you aren't interested, I understand. If you are, please read on.

What's going on with Larry and Balki?   Umm, their fingers and toes wiggle.  They are peeing in their sacs. They are practicing swallowing. (Which makes the previous statement a lot grosser.) Their little brains are producing testosterone/estrogen.  They are as big as large plums and weigh 1/2 ounce.

What's going on with the Mothership?   I am finally getting a handle on my nausea, thanks to uni.som and vitamin B6 (thank you, Emily!!)  I am trying to get used to eating smaller portions, as I am well aware of the heartburn that is about to replace the nausea very soon.  I'm tired all the time.  My boobies are huge and they hurt and they are covered in fantastic blue veins.  I have a hard time going "two". Hard being the operative word there - ouch!  Hmmmm, sex? No, thank you.

Highlights of the previous week:  I am able to find the babies' heartbeats easily on my home doppler.  I like having that reassurance between appointments.  I also made my u/s appointment to see what the babies are for January 5th!! That's so soon! Off topic, but still noteworthy, we took our boys to San Antonio this past weekend and enjoyed a day at Sea World and just being away for a few days.  DS2 got to be a part of the Shamu show and it was so precious!  DH and I were on the "Kiss Cam" before the show started and he opted to point to his WVU hat the whole time, while I looked up at us on the screen, looked back down, and continued texting. Ooh, we bought a house, too! Very excited about that and hoping to move in the middle of next month!! That's about it. Sorry if I bored you to tears!

Hope you are all well!!

A Cry For Help

Came in the form of me calling my OB's office for a prescription for Zo.fran.  I shouldn't have to suffer like this while others tell me that they wouldn't be able to function without their Zo.fran.  I throw in the towel.  I am reassured beyond what I can describe that this pregnancy is going well, but I cannot.....CANNOT allow the children that I have to endure a deadbeat mom who cannot get off the couch. 

It figures that as business hours wind down on the day where morning sickness got the best of me, I have yet to hear from my OB. Please let them call that prescription in tonight.

Please.

Graduation and Eye Wandings

My RE's office called on Monday and asked to move this morning's u/s to tomorrow because he had to do three retrievals this morning (apparently the infertility business in BOOMING).  I couldn't do tomorrow because my FIL is coming to visit, so they ended up rescheduling my appt for yesterday afternoon.  My symptoms had taken a dramatic turn for the better, which had me freaking out, so I was actually happy to see the littles sooner even though DH couldn't make it because of meetings all afternoon.

The wanding began and I made my RE aware of my fears over my symptoms before we started. He said that symptoms are not a hard and fast rule of pregnancy. Regardless, I looked away from the screen as I was in no mood to see shrunken sacs and babies with no heartbeats with my own eyes. (How effed up am I from my m/c still?)  Anyway, he immediately told me to look at the screen as he saw Baby A had a heartbeat and went about his measurements.  She measured 8w2d (right on track) and had a good strong heartbeat of 161 bpm.  We listend to the heartbeat and then he held the wand on her for just a moment longer and told me to lay real still and watch closely.  After about three or four seconds, she did a little wiggle!!  It was so sweet, I got very teary-eyed.

Onto Baby B who is just a little bit further away from the wand and a titch harder to get a good view of.  Measuring also at 8w2d, this one had a heartbeat of 170 bpm.  A few more moments of looking around and a handful of pictures later, my wanding was over. :(  I won't see the babes for another 2 weeks, but when I do.......

It will be my first OB appt!!!!! I am a graduation girl!! How cool is that?!

Onto the eye wanding portion of the visit (and let me just say that this mortifies me, but at the same time, it is just too funny and if you can't laugh at yourself, well, you need to cause life is too short to take yourself seriously).

I spoke with Dr. Awesome RE's nurse for a few minutes after he left the room and when she left, I jumped off the table to go into this little closet area they have to change back into my clothes. I dropped my paper skirt on the ground when I jumped off the table and when I bent over to pick it up, wouldn't you know that I lined my fricking eye up to the u/s wand that was back on its holder and wanded my EYE?! Beside the initial "Ouch! Oh my god, my eye!!" reaction, I also had the "Are you freaking kidding me?! That thing has been inside every infertile in the Oklahoma City area!! Gross!!!" thought.  I was completely alone, but was so embarrassed.  I guess it was a good thing that DH couldn't make the appt.  I still haven't told him. I have no plans to do so, either.

Lesson learned: Never a dull moment at the RE's, people.

MIA

Apologies for my late update on u/s #3.  DH has been out of town all week and my m/s has amped up big time. The last two days have been particularly bad as I have been sick all day and my eating small meals often hasn't helped as much as it did in the past. I am by no means complaining, just sharing. The gags are the worst part of it all. I really feel that if I can get a good hurl in, I would be a new person, but alas! I cannot spew.

My u/s on Wednesday was great. Baby A - Larry, measured right on track at 7w3d and had a heartrate of 137 bpm.  For your viewing pleasure:

Baby B - Balki, measured at 7w3d also and had a heartrate of 140bpm:

And the shot I had to life my ass up off the table for my RE to get (thanks to my introverted uterus!):

                                          My Babies!!

Next u/s is this coming Wednesday where I will be 8w3d.  If all looks good, I will graduate to my OB. :)

Cheaters Never Win, Eh?

So, that's how the saying goes, but I disagree.

I went in for another ultrasound today.

Baby A, who we'll call "Larry" measured 6w3d and had a heart rate of 124 beats per minute.


Baby B, or "Balki" measured 6w2d and also had a heart rate of 124 beats per minute.


EDD is June 17.

So, I cheated to see my babies. Again.

Winning!!

I Cheated

In a moment of fear and weakness, I called my doctor's office yesterday and begged for an early ultrasound.  Turned out, given my previous IVF pregnancy and what a disaster it was, I didn't have to beg at all.  I was warned that I wouldn't see a heartbeat (which I knew), but that he would take a look, take a count and tell me if everything is as it should be at this stage in the game.

See them little eyes looking at you?? Kind of looks like an owl, doesn't it?  I'm having twins and they are looking great!! Next ultrasound on the 31st!!

2nd Beta Results

Monday at 14DPO - 156
Wednesday at 16DPO - 350

Doubling time - 41.17 hours

First ultrasound scheduled for 10/31!!

Beta Results Confirm...

...a big fat freaking positive.


At 14DPO and 9DP5DT:

156!!!!!!

I've Been Peeing On Things

6DP5DT/11DPO

PUPO With........

So, there was debate about how many embryos we would transfer yesterday.  I was told by the embryologist that if we had two good-looking blasts, it would be a hard sell to get Dr. Awesome RE to transfer more than two. If everything looked "average" he would probably be agreeable to it and transfer three to "up" our chances of a successful cycle.

We arrived at the fertility clinic and I was nervous that no transfer would be taking place. You know, the fear that sets in over hearing, "So sorry...there were no viable embryos this morning when we looked at them."  DH kept saying, "Relax! This is the easy part." In the grand scheme of things, he is right, although none of this shit is easy, let's just be honest.  Transfer is easier than retrieval and beats the hell out of an intramuscular progesterone shot, so I opted out of arguing the matter of IVF being difficult in general with the man.

We were escorted immediately back into a holding area  and were told that Dr. Awesome RE was going to be in shortly to discuss the transfer and quality of the embryos and whatnot. Almost on cue, there he was.  We were told that we had two good looking embryos to transfer.  He spoke briefly about his recommendation of transferring only two.  He assured us that quality was not an issue with our embabies. He then stated that he would be agreeable to three, but wanted us to know what we would possibly be getting ourselves into.  He proceeded to talk about prematurity in multiples, possible time in the NICU, developmental delay, etc.  Did he think that it would for sure happen if we transferred three? No.  Was it his responsibility to warn us? Yes.  He then left us alone with the embryologist to discuss any questions we had as we made our decision.

Me:  Are the two ready for transfer blasts?
Deidra:  Yes.
Me:  How do they look?  Be honest.
Deidra:  They look really good.
Me:  If we did three, is the third one a blast?
Deidra:  You have a third blast, but I'm not liking it as much as a cavitating morula you have. It looks really good and would probably be the third.  (Note: A morula is the stage before blastocyst. A "cavitating" morula is a half step closer to blastocyst.)
Me: Is it looking like we will have any left over to freeze if we only do two?
Deidra:  At this point, I would say, don't count on it. (Note: The grading system at our fertility clinic is VERY strict. Especially when being graded for freezing.)

She then left us alone and DH and I had a private conversation that I won't divulge on my blog.  I undressed from the waist down and covered back up on the bed. When Dr. Awesome RE came in to wheel me into the transfer room, he asked if we reached a decision. I said nothing, but held up my fingers:

Update #3 and Instructions for Transfer

I just spoke to the embryologist, whom I will affectionately call "Deidra".  It is, after all, her name.

At a little less than 72 hours out from fertilization, we have:

Three 10-cell
Two 8-cell
Three 7-cell (one of those showing no change from yesterday)
One 6-cell
One polynucleated (too much DNA) - discarded.

Five of them are looking "good".  Four of them are showing 15% or more fragmentation and are "not as good".

*sigh*  I knew that yesterday's high was bound to be stifled a little. Each day, as Deidra said, you are expected to see a drop off. It's the natural progression of things.  As long as we have some good quality blasts for transfer on Saturday, there is nothing to be disappointed in.  Yet, *sigh*.  I just want it to work this time. 

We are to come in at 8:45 on Saturday and transfer is scheduled for 9:00.  I won't be getting any updates tomorrow as they leave the embabies alone on day 4 and won't look at them again until the morning of transfer.

We spoke briefly about the possibility of transferring three.  She said that having a failed IVF cycle before puts us as candidates, but it's a double-edge sword.  If we have two beautiful blasts on Saturday, it will be a hard sell to get Dr. Awesome RE to transfer three.  If they are just average, he would probably be agreeable. That's what we don't want, though, is "average" blasts. We want beautiful.

I hope it's only two, then.

I will update here after transfer.  Please say a little prayer.  <3

Day Two Embryo Update

I'm so excited! I'm just going to jump right in!

We have:

One 8-cell.
One 7-cell
One 6-cell
Seven 4-cell

At this point, they want to see them around 4 cells. She explained to me that an embryo only has so much energy and if it uses up a lot of it in the beginning, it will, unfortunately, "peter out" when it comes time to turn into a blast.  She said that, at this point, the 4-celled ones are our front runners, showing very little fragmentation.   Also, one of the 4-celled ones is "just beautiful" (in her words)!! Yay!!

The best part is that she commented that everything looks so much better compared to last cycle. Be it the diet changes, the exercise, the wheatgrass shots, or whatever, something is definitely different this time.  In a good way, too!

Before we hung up, I asked her to go sing the babies a lullaby and that I couldn't wait to hear from her tomorrow. Will update here when I get that call.

<3

Fertilization Report

The phone call finally came in at about 11:30 this morning.  Here's the skinny:

14 eggs retrieved (I guess that 15th one was just a myth!)

14 mature.

14 ICSIed.

7 fertilized normally.

4 are being watched but have yet to show signs of fertilization.

1 is being watched because it appears to be fused (?)

2 showed signs of abnormalities and were discarded.

Will know more tomorrow!

The Retrieval

So, I was negligent in updating my blog after Friday's ultrasound and E2.  We were pretty sure we were going to go for retrieval yesterday (Sunday). It all hinged on my progesterone level.  If it was elevated above 1.5, he was going to retrieve on Sunday. If not, he wanted to stim me one more day in hopes of getting better quality eggs at retrieval. My progesterone was only 1.23.  So, we stimmed Friday, triggered Saturday and did retrieval today.

My retrieval went well. I am a little sorer than I was last time, but as far as nerves are concerned, there were none. DH and I both felt more at ease this time around. No surprises. As the record comes to a screeching halt....

We got 14 eggs!! After being told all week that I had only nine, we got FOURTEEN!! Woo hoo, right?? Wrong! Read on...

I called my fertility clinic this afternoon to get my final E2 from Saturday's bloodwork.  The nurse I spoke to said that as of Saturday, before trigger, my E2 was 3125. That is 1000 more than what my estrogen was at the same time last cycle.  I got so excited telling her that with one less egg, my estrogen was so much higher.  She then informed me that we actually had 15!!  They "found" one more after we left.  How is that even possible?!

I don't know! But we have babies down the road and I can't wait to get the report tomorrow on how they are doing!! <3

Confirmation (Updated)

There was no heartbeat today at my ultrasound.

My clinic is going to schedule a D&C this week.

**My D&C is this Wednesday, April 27th. I am so thankful they are getting me in so soon.**

Miscalculated LMP and the Discovery of "The Source"

If you are uber observant, then perhaps you noticed that my pregnancy ticker has been adjusted. (Just so you know, I don't really expect any of you to have noticed that, but it has been adjusted so I thought I'd share why.)  I went in for my U/S this morning and noticed that they have my LMP (last menstrual period) as 3/3/11.  I thought it was 2/28/11 since my babies were conceived on 3/14/11. Silly me just assumed that the kiddos were created on the "Day 14" of my cycle and apparently, they were fertilized on "Day 11".  No worries, I'm just not 7 weeks pregnant today, I am 6 weeks, 4 days. Due date is 12/8/11. (That seems really far away, doesn't it?)

Baby is measuring one day behind and I was told not to worry about that discrepancy.  One day does not matter, but three or four days would, so I am choosing not to worry about this.  Heart rate was 103 and I was told that for a 6 week, 4 day old fetus, that is perfectly within normal range. At about 8 weeks, the heart rate will jump up to the 120-160 range.  I am also okay with this.  Baby is measuring .60 cm. Last Tuesday, baby was .20 cm and when converted to mm, baby grew from 2 mm to 6 mm which is also good.  Dr. Awesome RE also found what he believes to be the cause of the bleeding - a hematoma near the baby that is very small (hopefully all bled out!).  I am really pleased to have found a cause. All this unexplained bleeding was not sitting right with me.  There has to be a reason, right?! 

I am to come back in one week for another U/S. I am hoping that I can be released to an OB at that point.  I just need one week of no drama!!  RE recommended continued limited activity including lots of rest, no sex, no hot baths, no hot tubs or saunas, etc.

All in all, a great report! :)

Anticipation

I never thought I'd say this, but I am super sick of blogging about TTC and obsessing over the ever looming threat of a miscarriage.  So, I will keep today's thoughts on these matters short and to the point:

My bleeding has stopped. I am not as naive as I was before. It may come back. I anticipate that it will just because I've become more cynical over the past two and a half weeks. I dare you to blame me. For now, it is gone and I will enjoy every moment of its absence.

Now, in other news, I got my hair did today. I feel like a new person! If I must sit around in my pajamas, I will do so with good hair, darnit. And in more hair news, I ordered my extensions today!! Next Friday, I will have 6 more inches of hair! I cannot wait as I am really impatient and this whole waiting for my hair to grow out isn't really working for me. Can you imagine? Five whole months of gorgeous, long, thick, Kate Middleton-ish or a bit longer, hair. And when I take them out my real hair will have grown that much longer. Winning!

See - I'm not all mopey and grumpy and forlorn all the time. There are lots of things to be happy about. Today, my hair makes me happy. :) Lots of other less shallow things make me happy, too.  I am looking forward to seeing baby bean on Monday. I hope she's okay in there and still enjoying her stay. I am thankful for my church family who are taking care of DH and the boys and I in our time of need. Someone is coordinating meals and a lady is coming over next week to clean my house. How blessed am I to have such wonderful people who want to be here for us and give us the best chance of staying pregnant? God isn't good. He is wonderful!

Here's a pic of me and the bean today (and my rockin' hair!)

Have a good weekend everyone! :)