I thought I would do a pregnancy post update. You know, how big is baby? How big is uterus? How big is Mommy's butt? So, if you aren't interested, I understand. If you are, please read on.
What's going on with Larry and Balki? Umm, their fingers and toes wiggle. They are peeing in their sacs. They are practicing swallowing. (Which makes the previous statement a lot grosser.) Their little brains are producing testosterone/estrogen. They are as big as large plums and weigh 1/2 ounce.
What's going on with the Mothership? I am finally getting a handle on my nausea, thanks to uni.som and vitamin B6 (thank you, Emily!!) I am trying to get used to eating smaller portions, as I am well aware of the heartburn that is about to replace the nausea very soon. I'm tired all the time. My boobies are huge and they hurt and they are covered in fantastic blue veins. I have a hard time going "two". Hard being the operative word there - ouch! Hmmmm, sex? No, thank you.
Highlights of the previous week: I am able to find the babies' heartbeats easily on my home doppler. I like having that reassurance between appointments. I also made my u/s appointment to see what the babies are for January 5th!! That's so soon! Off topic, but still noteworthy, we took our boys to San Antonio this past weekend and enjoyed a day at Sea World and just being away for a few days. DS2 got to be a part of the Shamu show and it was so precious! DH and I were on the "Kiss Cam" before the show started and he opted to point to his WVU hat the whole time, while I looked up at us on the screen, looked back down, and continued texting. Ooh, we bought a house, too! Very excited about that and hoping to move in the middle of next month!! That's about it. Sorry if I bored you to tears!
Hope you are all well!!
Showing posts with label travel. Show all posts
Showing posts with label travel. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
"Everybody's Got Plans....Until They Get Hit"
It's a rarity that I'll quote Mike Tyson, but how true are those words? It seems that everyone makes plans - it's a part of life - but no one plans on the "hit" that derails it all. Well, our plan was to have a baby and complete our family. Part of the plan, although unplanned, was IVF. The hit was the miscarriage. Part of me is still reeling from it all. Part of me is hopeful enough to try again. Part of me never wants to risk it in case it ends the same way. All of me is too scared right now to make "those types" of plans.
So, here we find ourselves with no real plans to move forward in TTC. We won't even pretend that we're trying naturally. I know that within a few minutes of leaving DH's body all of his sperm clump together and die. And I've heard the, "It only takes one" line of reasoning. I don't subscribe to fantasy. I'll sooner be licked by a unicorn than conceive a baby the old-fashioned way.
So what can Aub do? Aub can get the hell out of Oklahoma for a while. Next week the boys, the dog, and your truly will travel 1000 miles over a period of two days back to West Virginia for the whole month of July. DH will join us mid-month and that's when we will make our way to the Big Island to celebrate ten wonderful years together. I can't believe it. Seems like just yesterday we were talking over dinner (a blind date!) and here we are. Ten years, eight moves, two beautiful boys, millions of laughs, and thousands of tears later, our story reaches a milestone. I couldn't have picked a better person to share the novel of my life with. I am a lucky girl!
Those are our immediate plans. I cannot wait to get back to the place that refreshes and recharges me. I know it will be hard to see my family and the few friends of mine who knew about the baby; I am sure it will be grieved again. I cannot think of a better place, however, to move forward, move on, and find the strength and determination to keep fighting for what my heart has decided is already mine, than in the mountains of my home.
So, here we find ourselves with no real plans to move forward in TTC. We won't even pretend that we're trying naturally. I know that within a few minutes of leaving DH's body all of his sperm clump together and die. And I've heard the, "It only takes one" line of reasoning. I don't subscribe to fantasy. I'll sooner be licked by a unicorn than conceive a baby the old-fashioned way.
So what can Aub do? Aub can get the hell out of Oklahoma for a while. Next week the boys, the dog, and your truly will travel 1000 miles over a period of two days back to West Virginia for the whole month of July. DH will join us mid-month and that's when we will make our way to the Big Island to celebrate ten wonderful years together. I can't believe it. Seems like just yesterday we were talking over dinner (a blind date!) and here we are. Ten years, eight moves, two beautiful boys, millions of laughs, and thousands of tears later, our story reaches a milestone. I couldn't have picked a better person to share the novel of my life with. I am a lucky girl!
Those are our immediate plans. I cannot wait to get back to the place that refreshes and recharges me. I know it will be hard to see my family and the few friends of mine who knew about the baby; I am sure it will be grieved again. I cannot think of a better place, however, to move forward, move on, and find the strength and determination to keep fighting for what my heart has decided is already mine, than in the mountains of my home.
Friday, May 13, 2011
Good News Will Work Its Way To All Them Plans.
I have to believe the statement above because Modest Mouse said so.
The last two days have been hard. I've been feeling this loss so deeply the last 48 hours. It's really confusing because I'll have a few good days and then BAM! It hits me out of nowhere. I should still be pregnant. My baby was such a fighter. She/he should still be hanging on. I knew yesterday would be hard. The dreaded Thursday. I thought today would be better, though. It's Friday. Six whole blissful days until the next dreaded Thursday. It's been hard, though, too. I had to go to the mall and pick up some new things. So many preggos. So many strollers. So many tears in my car afterward. I can't control them. They are everywhere. It's not my intention to control them, just to learn to deal with the fact that they are still pregnant and I am not. I have to be easy on myself. It's only been two weeks.
I'm trying to focus on what I can do. Now. In the meantime. While waiting to cycle again (whenever that will be). While deciding if we will cycle again. So, I've made some plans. And I'd like to share them with you all.
1.) Exercise. I am making exercise a part of my daily life again and yes, I said daily. For six long weeks, I did nothing for fear of losing my baby and (of course) I would do it all over again, but how my body missed being fatigued through exercise! It feels amazing to move again and I've been relishing pilates and runs and brisk walks with the dog in the warm spring air. So amazing to be back out there and be active again!
2.) Travel. Oh the places we will go!! First, I am planning on taking my boys (dog included!) back east at the end of June. We will be visiting friends and family for the whole month of July and not returning to Oklahoma until sometime the first week in August. While in West Virginia, we plan to spend a weekend in North Carolina with my friend, Kassy who has a lake house at Lake Norman. Then, DH and I are headed to The Big Island of Hawai'i for six wonderful nights to celebrate ten beautiful years together. So much love for that man. If he loves me just a tenth of the amount I love him, I am a lucky woman. We are also looking forward to a couples weekend in South Beach with our very best couple friends, the Doaks (Josh and Jenn). That's at the end of August. Family vacation this year will be in November. Taking our boys to Disney World over Thanksgiving break. Wow, for the record we usually don't vacation so much in a year. We need it this year, though!
3.) Change. I am working a lot on me. I want to be the best woman I can for my family, for myself, for my future baby, and for the baby that I lost. Physically, I will do just fine with a balanced diet and exercise. Mentally and emotionally, I will work hard at weekly, as I am seeing a Healing Touch Practitioner, and daily on an individual basis, meditating and praying. It is my wish to start living more in the moment. I have been so focused on TTC, so forward thinking, that I've lost a lot of todays. I want to stop worrying so much about tomorrow. I want to be here. Now. I know what it's going to take out of me emotionally and physically to do another cycle. I'm eyes wide open next time around.
That's why I've decided to move my blog. It will still be public, but I'm not going to give out the url to everyone. This change will take place in June 1. If you are an ALI blog (the Stirrup Queen's Blogroll), I will make the change known on LFCA. If you are not an ALI blog, but are struggling with infertility OR I met you on here or two week wait, I will give you my email and I can get you the new blog addy that way. If I know you in real life, I will not be sharing my new blog with you. Please don't take this personally as it is not my intention to hurt anyone's feelings. I hope you will understand that it is exhausting for me to keep up with everyone when I'm cycling with text updates and the like. I want to be completely focused and I hope that being more private with my next future cycle will bring me less stress. I need to blog about what I am going through, but I need to be surrounded by people who truly understand, who have been there before, who know what it feels like. I'll be more forthcoming with details on the move soon!
And if you made it to the end of this ridiculously long post (sorry!) please enjoy Modest Mouse and remember:
...We'll all float on.
Alright already we'll all float on.
Alright don't worry even if things end up a bit too heavy.
We'll all float on...alright. Already we'll all float on.
Alright already we'll all float on, ok.
Don't worry we'll all float on.
Even if things get heavy, we'll all float on...
The last two days have been hard. I've been feeling this loss so deeply the last 48 hours. It's really confusing because I'll have a few good days and then BAM! It hits me out of nowhere. I should still be pregnant. My baby was such a fighter. She/he should still be hanging on. I knew yesterday would be hard. The dreaded Thursday. I thought today would be better, though. It's Friday. Six whole blissful days until the next dreaded Thursday. It's been hard, though, too. I had to go to the mall and pick up some new things. So many preggos. So many strollers. So many tears in my car afterward. I can't control them. They are everywhere. It's not my intention to control them, just to learn to deal with the fact that they are still pregnant and I am not. I have to be easy on myself. It's only been two weeks.
I'm trying to focus on what I can do. Now. In the meantime. While waiting to cycle again (whenever that will be). While deciding if we will cycle again. So, I've made some plans. And I'd like to share them with you all.
1.) Exercise. I am making exercise a part of my daily life again and yes, I said daily. For six long weeks, I did nothing for fear of losing my baby and (of course) I would do it all over again, but how my body missed being fatigued through exercise! It feels amazing to move again and I've been relishing pilates and runs and brisk walks with the dog in the warm spring air. So amazing to be back out there and be active again!
2.) Travel. Oh the places we will go!! First, I am planning on taking my boys (dog included!) back east at the end of June. We will be visiting friends and family for the whole month of July and not returning to Oklahoma until sometime the first week in August. While in West Virginia, we plan to spend a weekend in North Carolina with my friend, Kassy who has a lake house at Lake Norman. Then, DH and I are headed to The Big Island of Hawai'i for six wonderful nights to celebrate ten beautiful years together. So much love for that man. If he loves me just a tenth of the amount I love him, I am a lucky woman. We are also looking forward to a couples weekend in South Beach with our very best couple friends, the Doaks (Josh and Jenn). That's at the end of August. Family vacation this year will be in November. Taking our boys to Disney World over Thanksgiving break. Wow, for the record we usually don't vacation so much in a year. We need it this year, though!
3.) Change. I am working a lot on me. I want to be the best woman I can for my family, for myself, for my future baby, and for the baby that I lost. Physically, I will do just fine with a balanced diet and exercise. Mentally and emotionally, I will work hard at weekly, as I am seeing a Healing Touch Practitioner, and daily on an individual basis, meditating and praying. It is my wish to start living more in the moment. I have been so focused on TTC, so forward thinking, that I've lost a lot of todays. I want to stop worrying so much about tomorrow. I want to be here. Now. I know what it's going to take out of me emotionally and physically to do another cycle. I'm eyes wide open next time around.
That's why I've decided to move my blog. It will still be public, but I'm not going to give out the url to everyone. This change will take place in June 1. If you are an ALI blog (the Stirrup Queen's Blogroll), I will make the change known on LFCA. If you are not an ALI blog, but are struggling with infertility OR I met you on here or two week wait, I will give you my email and I can get you the new blog addy that way. If I know you in real life, I will not be sharing my new blog with you. Please don't take this personally as it is not my intention to hurt anyone's feelings. I hope you will understand that it is exhausting for me to keep up with everyone when I'm cycling with text updates and the like. I want to be completely focused and I hope that being more private with my next future cycle will bring me less stress. I need to blog about what I am going through, but I need to be surrounded by people who truly understand, who have been there before, who know what it feels like. I'll be more forthcoming with details on the move soon!
And if you made it to the end of this ridiculously long post (sorry!) please enjoy Modest Mouse and remember:
...We'll all float on.
Alright already we'll all float on.
Alright don't worry even if things end up a bit too heavy.
We'll all float on...alright. Already we'll all float on.
Alright already we'll all float on, ok.
Don't worry we'll all float on.
Even if things get heavy, we'll all float on...
Thursday, February 17, 2011
BCP, Lupron, and Airport Injections
See that?! My last lone birth control pill will be taken tonight and another chapter in this IVF story will be in the books. I started Lupron injections three days ago and while it's not my favorite thing to do, waking up and sticking myself with a needle, it's not horrible either. DH even sat in for yesterday's injection. I think he thinks I'm a rockstar. I kind of feel like one.
In other news, I am making a previously unplanned trip back east next week. My good friend, Kass, her dad is quickly losing his battle with throat cancer and I'm unsure whether he'll still be hanging on or already gone when I get there. Regardless, she needs me and I'm there. Sometimes I think texting and talking does less than sitting together and holding a hand in silence. She would do the same for me - I have no doubt.
I called Delta yesterday and spoke with a representative about my Lupron and my needles. She said they were okay to bring on with me as carry on as long as everything was still in its original manufacturer's packaging and I had a letter from my doctor saying that I am under his care and taking these medicines. I thought I would pass that information along to you in case you ever needed to know! I'm glad they can stay with me because I will need to inject myself when I get to Memphis that morning! That should be fun.
I hope everyone is having a great week and I am going to continue to enjoy this beautiful sunshine and the fact that (so far) Lupron has been kind and not dealt me too many side effects. I'm a little crabby, but I'm always a little crabby, so who knows?! :)
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