"Get A Massage, Take A Yoga Class, Hire An Au Pair"

Who said it?
A) A well-meaning friend.
B) A fellow mother of multiples.
C) My dermatologist.

If you guessed C, have a cookie.  Although they seem more likely to come from a friend or a mom of twins, these words were spoken to me by my skin doctor.  I shall explain. But first, let me just say that I don't know what to think of this guy.

I went for a consultation on my skin, to get a plan for the future and when I was called back, after the pleasantries and whatnots, got right into to telling him about my rosacea.  I told him what has worked for me in the past (IPL), what I haven't seen any results with (creams, pills) and asked him to give me his thoughts on the matter.  The following is our conversation:

Him:  What exactly do you think I'm going to be able to do for you today?
Me:  Look at my skin, listen to my concerns, come up with a game plan for what can be done after these babies are born.
Him: Oh. Okay. You wouldn't believe how many women wait until they are pregnant to come in with concerns over their skin and then they get pissed that I can't do anything for them.
(Uncomfortable silence.)
Him:  So, are you staying away from your rosacea triggers?  Hot drinks, chocolate, cheese, tomatoes?
Me:  I have one cup of coffee a day and yes, I stay away from the rest. (A blatant lie. I have cheese and fairly often. It's my go-to snack. Whatever. He doesn't need to know that.)
Him: What do you hope to accomplish with future treatments?
Me: I want to get my redness under control, get rid of some of these capillaries and achieve an all over more even skin tone.  If my pores were smaller, that would be a bonus.
Him: You think your pores are enlarged?  (looks at my face through funny looking glasses)  Are you under stress, by chance?
Me: (stares at him)  Well, we just moved into a new house, I'm pregnant with twins after dealing with infertility, we've had some complications in this pregnancy, and I live about 1000 miles away from my family.  In a word? Yes. 
Him: Because there's this amazing phenomenon that happens in the brain when someone is under stress that makes things appear larger than they really are. People visualize things that aren't there.
Me: Sooo, you're saying my pores and my ass AREN'T as big as I think they are?
Him: They're probably not.  I really wish more doctors would read the research that has been done in the field because...(blah, blah, blah)...
Me: (Thinking to self)  I am witnessing someone having a mental breakdown. This is what the thought process of someone who has taken one too many hits off the gravity bong sounds like. I am really glad I stopped smoking pot in college.
Him: ...but the pharmaceutical companies can only treat stress with pro.zac and pax.il, so there's really no money to be made off of stress-related brain phenomenon.
Me: (stares)
Him: Until we can get you some practical treatment for your rosacea, why don't you get a massage, take a yoga class and hire an au pair.
Me: Are you going to give me a prescription for that?

Honestly. I'm left a bit confused by the whole experience. Do I think he's capable of treating my skin issues? Yes. Do I think he's koo koo for cocoa p.uffs?  Absolutely.

Things Are Uncomfortable...

...between my blog and I.  We started this journey together trying to get pregnant and trying to work through our feelings about secondary infertility. Now that I'm pregnant, I feel like my blog and I are growing apart.  We wanted the same things in the beginning, but now that we've gotten there, we are just kind of awkward together. I have tried time and time again to write a post, any post and it just doesn't feel right.

I have been given two beautiful boys and now I am expecting twins.  I feel so blessed, I need a new word for blessed, I want to write about it all and have it to look back on.

But to stop blogging about IF and start blogging about pregnancy seems so.....weird. I think I understand why some start a new blog about their pregnancy.

Anyone else experience this?  What did you do?

Facebook Pregnancy Announcement

You know, they don't bother me anymore.  I guess being pregnant makes them more bearable.  But this one got under my skin.

You see, she is four weeks pregnant.

That's right.

I said four.

I will be five tomorrow and have no plans of even breathing a word of it until twelve or thirteen weeks. Probably even later than that if it's twins.  Even then I will be waiting for something bad to happen. For the other shoe to drop.

Are people for real?

I wish I could be so effing ignorant.

Weird Dreams and A Sock Ninja

Day 19 of my cycle. Sixteen birth control pills down, eight to go. That's about all in this infertiles world right now.  If that's all you're interested in, I recommend not reading the rest of this post. But if you're in for some good old-fashioned hilarity, read on.

I had some weird dreams last night.  Most I can't remember, but a few of their details linger enough to make me wonder what I had eaten before bed to make such strangeness materialize in my subconscious.  One particular dream that happened after the "sock ninja" incident, which I'll inform you of next, was that I delivered my twins at the hospital and we were being discharged and DH came to pick us up in a Prius. He had "surprised" me by trading in our Pilot (eight passengers) for a Prius (four passengers) after I delivered twins bringing our total family members to six. Needless to say, I was irate in the dream, but still woke up happy because I had a dream about my babies!!  I can't wait for them. March 19th cannot come soon enough, I say.

So, while the dreams were strange, my real life sleep actions last night were definitely stranger. I woke up around 4 a.m. and realized I was clutching onto a tube of chap stick in one hand and one of DH's socks in the other.  How random is that?!  Bear in mind, I went to sleep with neither.  What's even funnier is that DH was missing a sock when he woke up! WTF? Did I strip him of his sock in the middle of the night?  Where did the chap stick come from? Am I sleep walking? As my good friend Kara brought up, am I talking while I'm carrying on these strange antics?  I need some sleep surveillance at the very least.

I'm so Raoul Duke sometimes...