Trauma: Life in the OB's Office

My experience at my OB appointment on Monday. Read for a good laugh. And for TMI.

My kids had off school for President's Day and I had a 9:15 OB appt. So much for sleeping in! Anyway, I am never in that office for more than thirty minutes from waiting room to check out. Of course, that wouldn't be the case on the day I brought my children. 

We waited over an hour in the waiting room alone. The kids were good; they had their PSP and DS to play with and they were troopers. DS2 kept letting stinkers and claiming that he did not have to go #2. I was skeptical. After about twenty minutes of little "smells" wafting my way, I realized that whether or not he had to go, I DID. More reason for me to beg that my name be called RIGHT NOW. Which happened. Finally.

So I get my weight, BP and FMU checked and get into a room. The nurse informs me that they will be doing a fetal fibronectin test and I will be getting it done every appt until delivery. "Bottoms off" she says to me. Umm. #notsomethingIwantmykidstoseehappen

My game plan was to make the kids turn around and face the wall for the test. (It was the best I could come up with spur of the moment.) I gave them a short explanation of how things were going to happen and what I wanted them to do. They turned around while I derobed and hopped up onto the table. I covered with the paper napkin/towel/thing and we waited. And waited. And waited. AND WAITED. FORTY minutes later and now I have to pee and go two. I was breaking into a cold sweat. The kids were starting to whine. Calgon, take me away!

Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I redressed, threatened my kids to be good "or else" and left the room to go pee. I returned, re-derobed, got verbally chastized by my ten-year-old for leaving a "butt print" on the paper on the table and retook my position on the exam table. At this point, I was FUMING mad over my wait.

Fortunately, the kids were getting the hint that I had had it and when my finally OB came in, they turned around, faced the wall, and didn't turn around or speak the entire time he was in the room. Who knows what my OB thought of them standing there like that?!

What's worse, it took a strength I didn't know I had not poo all over the place when he opened the speculum up for the FFN test. I was deep breathing and everything.

Worst part, we missed Chick-Fil-A breakfast.

To say that I am slightly traumatized by the whole experience is a serious understatement. I can't even imagine how my poor kids must feel.

Three days until viability!!!

Too Scared to Screw?

Yep. This post is about sex.  Feel free not to read if it makes you uncomfortable. It needs to be blogged about because it's kind of what's NOT been going on around here.  I won't be offended if you don't read or comment. It's all good. :)

So the night before my first beta (the disappointing 31) DH and I BDed.  It had been so long and we were getting "snappy" toward one another which tends to happen when we go so long without the sexy time. I believe it had been since a few days before ER, so we were going on sixteen days - 16 DAYS, peeps! (I didn't get married to be celebate, you know!) So, we BDed and were feeling quite happy with ourselves and excited for the next day's awesome beta and all the happiness which was to follow.

Then the next day's beta stunk (by fertility clinic's standards) and the following morning, I started to bleed. The bleeding continued for a week and so did all the uncertainty around what the heck was going on and we were emotionally, as well as physically, D.O.N.E. However, my numbers were doubling as they were expected and the bleeding, although heavy, was never painful with large clots, so technically, everything was going along as it was supposed to. Still, we refrained from any form of boudoir fun.

It stuck in the back of both of our minds that maybe if we hadn't BDed that one night, the bleeding may never had happened. (Of course, this is ridiculous, but we were grasping for reasons and causes for what we felt was a pretty unnatural occurence in pregnancy.)  Last night, the subject of it all came up and DH said that although he wanted nothing more than to BD, he didn't want to be the cause of any problem that might compromise a pretty fragile condition.  We decided to wait until after the u/s to make sure that we weren't up against anything that would make Dr. Awesome RE use the term "pelvic rest". It seemed like the most logical thing to do and although we knew it would be diffcult, we were committed to making sure everything was A-okay first.

It's going to be a loooong 9 days.....

CD15 and the ever-illusive "O"

Oh, you tricky, tricky devil.  Here I am, feeling like a dang hen on a big juicy egg that's never gonna hatch.  My OPK was negative. Again. Not even a little line.  Really? Is that how it's gonna be?  I feel great giving my lining a little more time to thicken up and getting that follie nice and big (two days ago it was 20.1mm), but enough is enough and I'm ready to get the baby-making BDing on!! Bring on this TWW, but Lord don't give me any more stark white sticks!!

I need a plan.  DH suggested luring the eggie out with a twinkie, but that sounds gross and messy to me.  I had thought maybe we could scare it out with either a horror movie tonight or maybe DH could jump out at me and scare me.  I'll happily take any other suggestions on how to get this TWW started but until then....

This'll be me. Sitting on my egg.  Bruck! Bruck! Bruckahhh!