Rage Against the Fertility Feed

This post has all the makings of a good old-fashioned rant. If you want no part of it, please opt out here.  I'm telling warning you, it could will get ugly.  If you want no part of it, I understand. Just exit here.  Okay, if you are still here, I assume you are willing and able to understand the hormonal rant that is about to ensue.  I'll keep my anger limited to three subjects.

1.)  Is it too much to ask for just one time to log on to facebook and NOT see the inside of someone's uterus?  It's bad enough that EVERYONE I ran cross country with in high school is pregnant. (Don't read this as me not being happy for them, read this as a person who desperately wants to be pregnant getting slapped in the face daily, repeatedly by what she will now unaffectionately refer to as the "Fertility Feed.")  Is it too much to request that people not put weekly updates of their fetus' development on FACEBOOK?  Who would click on those links (infertile or otherwise)?  Part of me would love to publicly document my IVF cycle on facebook, just to level the playing field. If infertility affects one in ten couples, I think it would be awesome for somebody (think "me") to put a story out there that disproves the popular belief that touching a penis gets you pregnant.  I'm stuck here, peeps. So, so many pregos and on a day like today, I have to physically restrain myself from hiding them from my newsfeed.  Ugh. On a side note, I've gotten awesome at skipping and skimming. If it appears that a girl is standing sideways in a pic to show off a belly, my eyes go right over it and keep on going. "Selective Facebooking" is what I call it.

2.) Where in the hell is my period?  Again, is it too much to ask to NOT have to wait for her when I know she's coming? Dr. Awesome RE told us that we would NEVER conceive another child naturally. It's not like I'm sitting here with false hope thinking that sperm and egg have united and that a little bit of magic is going on inside my womb right now.  I'm not getting tricked into taking a WondFo, Flo. Just get here, ya beeyotch, so I can get on with my life IVF. 

3.)  My husband came home a little while ago from a 10 mile run and proceeded to waft around the house smelling like a wet dog. Bear in mind, odor is my constant enemy. Living with three men and a dog (who used to be a man before we had his you knows cut off) puts me on smell duty all the time. A candle is always burning, dirty dishes don't sit in the dishwasher, dirty laundry doesn't sit in the hampers, and the garbage is always taken out before it start to stink.  So, as you can imagine, walking around smelling like a wet, stinky dog man is UNacceptable.  Part of me knows he did it on purpose just because he subscribes to the eighth grade boy school of thought where if you like a girl, you piss her off just to put out the vibe that you like her.

I know as far as rants go, this could be way worse.  Part of me feels bad about the facebook rant.  It's not like it's those girl's fault for being fertile. It's not our fault for being infertile.  It's just that fertility is everywhere, completely acceptable to be pregnant regardless of the situation surrounding it all. Infertility is taboo and that is unjust and even if no one cares about it, it should be in their faces, too.

I don't feel bad about the husband rant, but I will amend myself where I said he did it on purpose.  He was probably clueless to his smell.  He doesn't think any of his "smells" smell.

As far as AF is concerned, she can go %$*^ herself.

***EDIT**** I just signed out, went to the bathroom and SHE'S HERE. Woo hoo!! CD One! Birth control to start on Tuesday! :)