The Dirty Thirty and IVF Class

I went to bed last night twenty nine and woke up this morning.....thirty.  Yes, indeedy. The dirty thirty is here.  I am undecided on how I feel about today. I fully expected to be pregnant by now and I'm not.  That's okay, though. I get to go to a class at four that will teach me how to give myself shots in my belly and my bum so that I can get pregnant. Yay thirty!! Woo hoo infertility!!

Ahh, but anyway, IVF class is today.  We're going to go over all of our paperwork and then learn how all this shot taking is going to go down.  I suppose if I have any questions, they will be answered at that time (?).  I'm not sure how many other couples will be there. I hope I have the courage to ask what I want to without the fear of sounding dumb to others. I'll just remind myself that DH and I are there for us and we need to work out all the kinks in our heads. I don't want us to leave today without knowing that we got everything we could out of the session.

Tomorrow is my u/s for mapping my uterus and seeing where the best placement for my embies will be.  At that time, I'll also get my dates for ET and ER.  How real is that going to make it all?!  I still can't believe we are here, but at least there is progress!  In six weeks, if all goes well, I will be in my TWW and that much closer to my goal of completing my family and being a mommy again. It will be so different than the past, though. There WILL be life inside me.  All they have to do is stick! Wow. How blessed am I to be able to experience this all?  I would never call IF a blessing, but the fact that we have the means to continue on where others have to stop makes me feel extremely fortunate.

I guess I have no special wisdom to show for the almost eight hours that I've been thirty. I do know that it's a hard transition. It's a beginning and an end. A chapter in my life closes. The details are finite; they are down in history in permanent ink.  A new chapter opens. The pages are blank. They are waiting to be filled with all the joy, blessings, trials, sorrows and possibilities that lie ahead.  I know that I don't want to tiptoe quietly in to this decade of my life. I want to bust down the door and shout - -

"HEY, DIRTY THIRTIES!!! I HAVE ARRIVED!!!!!"