Thursday, January 12, 2012

This is Difficult

Bed rest is hard, yo.  I'm going to do what I need to keep these babies baking and myself healthy, but what an adjustment!

Yesterday, my first day on it, did not go so well.  Laying in bed, even propped up, gets painful.  My lower back hurt, my hips hurt.  By 6 pm, I was a mess - crying, with a splitting headache and frustrated that everyone around me was picking up the slack and not really doing a great job adjusting to their new roles, either.

DS2 acted out a lot.  He's not used to me being in bed.  He wanted to be near me. He wallowed all over me.  A couple of times I had to yell for DH to come in and remove him, which made him upset and he would cry and cry.  He cried A LOT yesterday.  My poor babe.

And my DH.  Where to start?  I guess by saying his work is being amazing about all of this.  We have no family here. Our family lives 1000 miles away.  We will need to hire help to come in and allow him to return to some sort of normalcy in his job, but in the meantime, it is just him being me.  And yesterday, he wasn't a very good me. I love him, but I need to vent about this, so bear with me.

At 1:00  I asked him for some lunch. I told him exactly what I wanted, beef tips and noodles.  Sounds more difficult than it really is, egg noodles cooked in beef broth (about >10 minutes to make) and the Hor.mel beef tips that you just pop in the microwave (3-4 minutes total).  By 4:15, all he had brought me in was a chicken tender from So.nic. ONE chicken tender. I had had nothing to drink and each time I asked one of the kids what Daddy was doing, they responded with, "Playing Fa.ble (a video game)".  Are you stinking kidding me? At 5:00, I got my food, my lunch. AT 5 PM!!!!!!!

He also barely spoke to me all day. I felt like such an outcast.  When I would yell for him, he would yell back, "What?!" like he didn't even want to come in the room. By 6:30, I felt so lonely, all I wanted to do was cry.  Fortunately, both my boys and my dog were at my side constantly to keep me company, although managing them around me all the time was kind of stressful.

I know that DH is stressed and he handles it in his own way.  He's nicknamed "The Duck" by his family - calm on the surface, paddle like hell underwater.  It's true. He internalizes everything.  I just can't help but feel like he's inadvertently punishing me in the process.

Ugh, I clearly have too much time to think.

11 comments:

  1. It cant be easy being on bedrest. I know that naturally we feel like we should be helping and doing, but sometimes things just dont work out like that. You have a very important job, the most important is making the babies enviroment less stressful and letting them grow.
    I hope that you guys can get some sort of schedule going. Good luck.

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  2. Ugh, I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I can only imagine what it is like to go from doing everything 100% to nothing. Hopefully things improve soon. Hang in there!

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  3. That sounds very difficult and frustrating, I'm sorry.

    I suggest keeping a water pitcher next to the bed. I did that after my c-section and had my older boys refill it for me throughout the day.

    Take it easy! Better said than done, I know.

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  4. Hugs. Sounds so much like my house the past few weeks. I was so sick with HG that Dh had to do everything and while he tried its just not how I would do it. I also was on bedrest for 4weeks with Ds and man is it uncomfortable and boring. Hang in there. Praying its short term.

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  5. Oh, wow, that DOES sound hard. Do you have to be in bed, or can you be out on the couch? Are there any friends you can ask for help? People from church or the community who can bring your family food? You shouldn't be starving. That's just not right. Also, if you have been working in the past, you might be eligible for disability, so do call your HR department to see if you can get some $$ towards getting help. Care.com is a good resource to find help.

    In the meantime, we are here for you! Feel free to contact me directly at ambivalent dot womb @ gmail dot com.

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  6. Aub!!!! Where the heck have you been and why haven't I been seeing your posts in my blog reader? Maybe you changed URLs??? I am sooooo happy for you! TWINS!?!? Amazing. Off to catch up on your life...

    (sorry you are having a hard time on bedrest. :()

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  7. Aw man, that totally sucks! I'm sorry and I hope it gets better soon.

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  8. Eek, it sounds pretty difficult all around. I'm sure it's hard on all of you, but I hope you're doing ok and thinking of the prize(s) at the end!

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  9. Bedrest really sucks, I'm sorry! I was on complete bedrest for 11 weeks with my twins. Then I hit 36 weeks, and I made it another 2.5 weeks until my scheduled C-section. Two huge and healthy boys! And you know what? I can hardly even remember bedrest, it's such a small blip in my memory. (And I had gestational diabetes, too, so I couldn't even drown my sorrows in chocolate, even on my 30th birthday!!) :( But anyway, just want to add my sympathy -- bedrest sucks. It's worth it, as you said. Hopefully you can hire some help for yourself and your kiddos. You'll get into a new groove and it'll get easier. Good luck!

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  10. I gave you the Liebster Award. :D

    Keep on posting! I look forward to your posts!

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  11. I hope you're doing OK on bedrest. Look foward to your next post!

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