I need to start off by thanking everyone for all their kind words and for just putting up with me the past few days. I haven't been that easy to deal with and I'm fairly certain I'm done wallowing in my self-pity. I feel so thankful to still have an option and I feel so thankful to have all of you and your beautiful words that picked me up when it all was just too much to take.
I am looking forward. Tomorrow, we have our IVF consult and we are working on a list of questions for my RE. It feels good to be making plans. It feels good to be looking forward to the next stage. Finding out that our option was one and not a very ideal one was by far the biggest kick in the teeth thus far, but in the darkest part of it all, I let go. I let go of all of this control that I've been holding onto and now I feel a little bit like I'm falling. I don't know where I'm going to land, but I trust that the hands that catch me are those of ones I trust and love: God, my DH, my family, my wonderful friends (you all included, of course!), my RE, whom I trust and know without a doubt has my very best interests at heart. I think, in a way, I will be there to catch myself, too. Each time I get knocked down, I get up stronger than I was before the blow. This has truly been a journey of self-discovery.
My blog title comes from the quote "Strength is born in the deep silence of long-suffering hearts; not amid joy."
How true these words feel today...
