"Get A Massage, Take A Yoga Class, Hire An Au Pair"

Who said it?
A) A well-meaning friend.
B) A fellow mother of multiples.
C) My dermatologist.

If you guessed C, have a cookie.  Although they seem more likely to come from a friend or a mom of twins, these words were spoken to me by my skin doctor.  I shall explain. But first, let me just say that I don't know what to think of this guy.

I went for a consultation on my skin, to get a plan for the future and when I was called back, after the pleasantries and whatnots, got right into to telling him about my rosacea.  I told him what has worked for me in the past (IPL), what I haven't seen any results with (creams, pills) and asked him to give me his thoughts on the matter.  The following is our conversation:

Him:  What exactly do you think I'm going to be able to do for you today?
Me:  Look at my skin, listen to my concerns, come up with a game plan for what can be done after these babies are born.
Him: Oh. Okay. You wouldn't believe how many women wait until they are pregnant to come in with concerns over their skin and then they get pissed that I can't do anything for them.
(Uncomfortable silence.)
Him:  So, are you staying away from your rosacea triggers?  Hot drinks, chocolate, cheese, tomatoes?
Me:  I have one cup of coffee a day and yes, I stay away from the rest. (A blatant lie. I have cheese and fairly often. It's my go-to snack. Whatever. He doesn't need to know that.)
Him: What do you hope to accomplish with future treatments?
Me: I want to get my redness under control, get rid of some of these capillaries and achieve an all over more even skin tone.  If my pores were smaller, that would be a bonus.
Him: You think your pores are enlarged?  (looks at my face through funny looking glasses)  Are you under stress, by chance?
Me: (stares at him)  Well, we just moved into a new house, I'm pregnant with twins after dealing with infertility, we've had some complications in this pregnancy, and I live about 1000 miles away from my family.  In a word? Yes. 
Him: Because there's this amazing phenomenon that happens in the brain when someone is under stress that makes things appear larger than they really are. People visualize things that aren't there.
Me: Sooo, you're saying my pores and my ass AREN'T as big as I think they are?
Him: They're probably not.  I really wish more doctors would read the research that has been done in the field because...(blah, blah, blah)...
Me: (Thinking to self)  I am witnessing someone having a mental breakdown. This is what the thought process of someone who has taken one too many hits off the gravity bong sounds like. I am really glad I stopped smoking pot in college.
Him: ...but the pharmaceutical companies can only treat stress with pro.zac and pax.il, so there's really no money to be made off of stress-related brain phenomenon.
Me: (stares)
Him: Until we can get you some practical treatment for your rosacea, why don't you get a massage, take a yoga class and hire an au pair.
Me: Are you going to give me a prescription for that?

Honestly. I'm left a bit confused by the whole experience. Do I think he's capable of treating my skin issues? Yes. Do I think he's koo koo for cocoa p.uffs?  Absolutely.