Sunday, January 29, 2012

An Update In Bullets

I've been negligent in my updates and I apologize. The past 18 days have been crazy.  We are all okay, though. Just want to make that clear first, so you're not worried.

* We spent about five days on bedrest.  It was hard and I made that obvious in my last post. I wasn't a good sport, but nobody was really happy those five days, so I was in good company.

* On Monday, January 16, I had an OB appt and spoke with him about my condition and his decision to put me on bedrest.  I had not spotted or bled in five days and I asked him if he would be okay with me resuming light activity, barring housecleaning, grocery shopping, sex, etc.  He agreed to it and I promised to get lots and lots of rest.  Yay for light activity!!

*On Thursday, January 19, I had my level ll u/s with my MFM specialist.  Both boys look good, are growing right on track, and are definitely boys!  Baby A has a calcium spot on his heart.  This isn't a cause for concern, according to my MFM doctor.  He sees it a lot in perfectly healthy babies. It won't get any bigger, he won't develop any more spots and it may even disappear before birth.  It does not cause heart defects and will not create murmurs.  It is a weak marker for Down's syndrome, but all other stronger markers were negative. I was offered an amnio, but it was not recommended, so I declined. I have faith that he is okay. It was also discovered that my placenta had already began to move away from my cervix, but was still considered low-lying.  All in all, a great report!!

* On Friday, January 20th, we moved into our new house.  I was on my feet a lot, but did okay - basically just acting as overseer. My sister flew in from Colorado and was there to help get us settled in.  My mom came in the next day from West Virginia and I was so happy to have them here keeping me sane and laughing!

* The last week has been a little crazy.  We've had workers in the house gutting and remodeling an upstairs bathroom as well as other small projects that we felt were necessary to make the house feel more like "home".  They should be finishing up on Tuesday and I'm looking forward to seeing them go!!  The changes are really lovely, though.  I'll try to do some before and after pics!

* Last Wednesday, I turned 31.  That's all I have to say about that.

*I started bleeding again last night. Today, I am on self-imposed bedrest.  It was pretty heavy, but is back to brown. I have to keep reminding myself that as the placenta is being pulled upwards, I will experience this and try not to be too worried. I always have the option of seeing my OB if I need the peace of mind. I also have my doppler and it helps to listen to their heartbeats.

* We are 20 weeks along today!! 28 more days to viability!!!

Thursday, January 12, 2012

This is Difficult

Bed rest is hard, yo.  I'm going to do what I need to keep these babies baking and myself healthy, but what an adjustment!

Yesterday, my first day on it, did not go so well.  Laying in bed, even propped up, gets painful.  My lower back hurt, my hips hurt.  By 6 pm, I was a mess - crying, with a splitting headache and frustrated that everyone around me was picking up the slack and not really doing a great job adjusting to their new roles, either.

DS2 acted out a lot.  He's not used to me being in bed.  He wanted to be near me. He wallowed all over me.  A couple of times I had to yell for DH to come in and remove him, which made him upset and he would cry and cry.  He cried A LOT yesterday.  My poor babe.

And my DH.  Where to start?  I guess by saying his work is being amazing about all of this.  We have no family here. Our family lives 1000 miles away.  We will need to hire help to come in and allow him to return to some sort of normalcy in his job, but in the meantime, it is just him being me.  And yesterday, he wasn't a very good me. I love him, but I need to vent about this, so bear with me.

At 1:00  I asked him for some lunch. I told him exactly what I wanted, beef tips and noodles.  Sounds more difficult than it really is, egg noodles cooked in beef broth (about >10 minutes to make) and the Hor.mel beef tips that you just pop in the microwave (3-4 minutes total).  By 4:15, all he had brought me in was a chicken tender from So.nic. ONE chicken tender. I had had nothing to drink and each time I asked one of the kids what Daddy was doing, they responded with, "Playing Fa.ble (a video game)".  Are you stinking kidding me? At 5:00, I got my food, my lunch. AT 5 PM!!!!!!!

He also barely spoke to me all day. I felt like such an outcast.  When I would yell for him, he would yell back, "What?!" like he didn't even want to come in the room. By 6:30, I felt so lonely, all I wanted to do was cry.  Fortunately, both my boys and my dog were at my side constantly to keep me company, although managing them around me all the time was kind of stressful.

I know that DH is stressed and he handles it in his own way.  He's nicknamed "The Duck" by his family - calm on the surface, paddle like hell underwater.  It's true. He internalizes everything.  I just can't help but feel like he's inadvertently punishing me in the process.

Ugh, I clearly have too much time to think.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Bed Rest

A bad bleed last night.

A call to my doc.  His suggestion to come in this morning and rest as much as I could with my feet up in the meantime.

Another bad bleed at 5 am.

An ultrasound at 8:45 this morning.

Two baby boys with heartbeats flickering.

One placenta over my cervix.

Get up only to go to the bathroom. Get up only to take one shower a day.

Bed rest.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Gender Disappointment

These words are gross to me.  I didn't even know there was such a thing as gender disappointment until I went searching for a place to upload the twins' NT scan pics to get opinions on what sex they might be.  The most popular site In.Genderdotcom, has a whole section devoted to being disappointed in the gender of your baby.  What. The.  Eff. 

Apparently, when you are fertile, you get to get pregnant at will and have the audacity to be disappointed if you were trying for a boy and got a girl or trying for a girl and got a boy.  I try not to let this kind of stuff get to me - I don't really care what kind of silliness people who have no clue how lucky they are can conjur up for themselves to get upset/disappointed over, but I'll be damned if that type of ridiculous behavior is going to creep into my life.

Let me set the stage for better understanding of why I am even addressing this stupidity here.  Since we found out that the twins are boys, the reaction from family has been less than stellar.  We've been met with more, "Awws" than "OHMYGOODGODANDGRAVY, Congratulations, you guys!!!"  We've even had an, "Oh well, as long as they are healthy" comment (this one really pissed me off).  I know that these people love us, want what is best for us and always have our best intentions at heart, but does anybody really think that the genders of these little ones was the goal here?!  Especially since these are people who know what we've gone through to get here.

I don't care if these babies are giraffes, as long as I can carry them to a healthy term, deliver them safely and be healthy myself, that's all that matters to me.  Why can't others just be happy for us?  What's so great about having a daughter that makes these little guys less miraculous?  Am I missing something here?

It's not my goal to bash girls, believe me. We would be ecstatic to be having a little girl, but the part that irks me is that obviously our family would be ecstatic, too and THAT'S the part that I don't get.  Little boys only get an "Oh well" while little girls would warrant a proper reaction? 

How could anyone not be as excited and grateful as we are over our labor of love? 

I feel like we should preface telling people with a "Sorry to let you down, but..."